School?

I feel like I didn't even go to school this semester. I mean, obviously I did. I had 12 credit hours, whatever. But I had class Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, 5:45-8:35, and those were each one class. And then my directed study which didn't have a regular class meeting. I was at school WAY more to work and do sorority stuff.

My finals consist of: a fill-in-the-blank final for Film Production. Watching 12 Angry Men again for Communication. Finishing my screenplay for Screenwriting, bringing people to class for a reading, and eating dinner. My directed study project is finished.

Did this semester even happen?

I had a productive day yesterday, though. I vaguely figured out my schedule for the next seven months. I declared a History minor and I'm taking a class called The Golden Age of Greece this summer, along with my internship at the Historical Society. In the fall I have a studio class, Social Media, Special News Coverage and History of Europe to 1500. I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE SPECIAL NEWS COVERAGE AT ALL. Because, guess what? I know it's hard to believe, but I do not have any aspirations in TV news. Whatsoever. But apparently I have to take this class. I'm getting really tired of the runaround I get at this school. But I know I complain a lot.

Thursdays are usually slow here. Today I have been assigned 8 projects and only have hopes of finishing 5. Get ready Danielle.

Jump-Start on the Memoirs

I should probably start writing things down to memorialize them for my memoirs. So many random things have happened to me, and I want to remember them forever. I mean, I'm no Tucker Max, but I have been in extremely random and awkward situations in my short 22 years on this earth, and I know that my memories will begin to fade soon.

I'm trying to break it up into a semi-coherent narrative. I figure it will go somewhat like this:

1) My earliest memories.

2) Family life

3) Grade school

4) Middle school (EEEW)

5) High school

6) College

7) England

and then, interspersed in there:

- Relationship successes

- Relationship fails

- Changes in life goals

- Completely eliminating life goals

- What I want to name my children

- What I want to name my dogs

- What I want to name my cat

- If I will ever even get a pet

- Whether or not I will be famous

- chapters on funny texts I have received, Facebook messages, random ass quotes, middle school notes, etc.

Currently shopping around for an advance on this. New editions will come out as I age, of course.

Greek Day, Allergies and Summer Plans

Greek Day

Song and Skit was a giant fail. I seriously thought we had it in the bag, even after all three sororities went. I thought there was no way we would lose, since the others did basically the same skit with a slightly different overlying story. Nope. Second place. Again. I wouldn't really be mad if I thought we deserved second, I know DTS usually does very crowd-pleasing skits so of course I was a bit nervous. But . . . I don't know. Whatever. There's always next year.

Greek Day was one giant surprise after another. We won -- get this -- chariot race, water balloon toss, and tug-of-war, all by absolutely huge margins. Chariot, the girls said afterward they didn't even feel like they were running that fast. Balloon toss, Sam and I caught somewhere around THIRTY balloons while the other sororities caught something like 12 and 20. We came in second in toilet bowl and car push. So we were in first going in to LUNCH! A whole half-day, we were in the lead! Amazing. And then, of course, the afternoon events happened. First of all, I hate both mattress race and wheelbarrow, and keg toss is pretty lame too. But I think we could probably win those if we had like, one full practice. We have never practiced ANYTHING before this year. So the fact that we practiced tug, car push, and chariot is a huge deal. Third place for the nineteenth straight year, but next year is our chapter's 20th anniversary so . . . . miracles could happen.

Allergies

I CAN'T STOP SNEEZING and probably being out in the cold for 8 hours on Saturday did not help the situation. That is all.

Summer Plans

Well I got an internship at the Detroit Historical Society as I mentioned before. Awesome! I start May 10th. I'll also still be working at school. It will be rough, without much time outside, but I'll manage. The pool closed [ :( ], however Kathy and I are planning a Glass Office Special entitled The Glass Office: The Job Hunt. I'm trying to take a few trips as well, depending on how my plans pan out. The Twin Cities at least once, Evansville, and my cottage. I also want to try to have DPhiE retreat at my cottage this summer because it would be AWESOME.

Sorry that was so incredibly boring.

Semi-stress

Right now in my life I am what I call semi-stressed. I rarely, if ever, get really full on "stressed out". Yes, it is true I am a terrible procrastinator and have very poor time management skills. But I tend to just let things happen when and as they happen and just blame myself for things that don't turn out quite like I wanted.

This week I am semi-stressed. I had a big paper due on Tuesday that I finished ten minutes before class. I haven't slept much or well because I am worried about Song and Skit. Yes, I do have my second interview at the Historical Society this week which is awesome, but I'm MORE stressed out about how my sisters and I will perform a silly routine in front of the Greek community at my school. Let me tell you, it's VERY difficult to get 30 girls to practice. Did I mention I'm in charge of it? I get pseudo-elected to do it every year. I'm 2-1 so far.

I am not caring about my classes, just trying to get my stuff done and on time. This summer is going to be interesting, with (hopefully) an internship and then working at school still. No classes as of yet, but I have to wait and see my degree audit which of course has not been mailed to me yet. There's also the pressing matter of how I'm going to pay for my extra semester(s), since my scholarship does not extend past eight semesters.

But, like I said, I'm still only just semi-stressed.

I know you all really cared about this post.

Here is my short film inspired by Romeo & Juliet for the International Shakespeare Film Festival. I had to cut it down to 3 minutes for submission but I like this version way better.

The Ballad of Willie

The following story is completely and 100% true, although I realize that it sounds like I made it up. I promise, I didn't.

The Ballad of Willie

Once upon a time, two girls lived in a quaint house in a quaint town in a state which currently has a deplorable economy. One day, these two sisters (Janelle and Nicole) were at their aunt's house when, atop their aunt's Cadillac, they spied a beautiful bird. Said bird was definitely not a native of their suburban Detroit town; it was yellow, gray and white with orange spots on its cheeks. When a hand was extended to the bird, it hopped on gladly. The general consensus was that this was someone's pet.

The whole house set to work. A neighbor had a cage which was acquired. The bird was put into the cage and then a plan of action was set; Aunt Carol would place an ad in the paper for a lost bird, and upon tearful begging of Janelle and Nicole, their parents allowed the bird to have a temporary haven at their household.

Janelle and Nicole agreed to name the bird Lily while she resided at their household. The following week, the ad was placed in the paper. One cousin had identified the bird as a cockatiel, and the family was abhorred to realize that Aunt Carol had placed a "lost ad" for a cockapoo, which is in fact a dog. So Lily was never claimed. Reluctantly, Janelle and Nicole's parents allowed them to keep the bird as a pet.

There were numerous problems with this arrangement. First, Janelle and Nicole owned a beautiful tabby cat named Smokey, who made it his life's goal to stalk Lily and try to kill her. In consequence, Lily could only be let out once in a while when Smokey was locked in the basement. When Lily was let out, she pooped all over the living room and kitchen, making the family resent her existence.

Upon consultation with a bird expert, it was determined, after about 6 months, that Lily was in fact a male. Janelle and Nicole, trying to minimize the gender confusion that was sure to occur, selected the name of Willie for their new male bird.

Willie had some wonderful years in that house. He was a vicious bird who would peck at anyone who stuck their hand into his cage, so in order to hold him the sisters had to wear protective gloves which were usually just mittens and long-sleeved shirts. But he had a kind soul somewhere inside. Once in awhile he would affectionately land on one of the sisters' heads and leave a little surprise.

Willie's blissful life ended one fateful day. Janelle and Nicole walked home from elementary school to find their father passed out on the couch. This was not an unusual occurrence; what was unusual, however, is that Willie was not screeching unapologetically. Nicole sauntered over to the cage and saw that Willie was lying on the bottom of it.

"WILLIE!" Nicole screamed.

Janelle walked over to the cage and, being infinitely wise, said in a solemn tone, "Nicole, I do believe this bird has passed on."

The sisters were frantic. Janelle proceeded to shake her father to wake him up. His glazed eyes clearly said, "I did not know your bird was dead," but Janelle said:

"Daddy, I think Willie is dead."

Nicole wailed. The father, clearly at a loss, said, "Okay."

The father stumbled over to Willie's cage. Upon observing the dead bird, he formed a plan of action. Wrapping the bird in a shroud consisting of a paper towel, he marched out to the backyard and gave the noble creature a splendid burial in his daughter's sand box.

When the mother arrived home from work, she found her daughters distraught and her husband in bed already. Upon finding out that their beloved Willie had been buried in their sand box, she decided to excavate his remains and give him a proper burial.

Janelle, who at the time was interested in a career in paleontology, begged her mother to give Willie a few hundred years in the sand so she could one day uncover his remains. Deciding this was unwise, she un-buried the poor bird and dug a grave in the corner of the yard. Willie received a proper bird burial in a green MaryKate and Ashley pencil box belonging to Nicole.

Thus ends Willie's tumultuous life. Though we don't know what happened to him previous to this story, we hope that on the whole he led a satisfying, phoenix-worthy life.

Clip Girl and Killing my Darlings

First of all, my Shakespeare Film Festival project is coming along swimmingly. However, IT'S TOO LONG. I knew it probably would be, but I love everything Aaronn and Katie have done so far and it's so hard to, what the industry says, "kill my darlings". I HAVE to cut stuff out, but it's almost painful :( I might make a "director's cut" that is longer than 3 minutes. I'm re-shooting the middle scene so it's shorter, but even so. It makes me cry inside.

Clip Girl (my sister) is home. It's nice and really anxiety-inducing at the same time. I yelled at her to take her Adderall because she was bouncing off the walls. But I always miss her so it's a conflicting situation, haha.

Why I Call My Sister "Clip Girl"

by Janelle

Once upon a time, there were two girls who attended a quaint little school in a quaint little town in a state with a currently deplorable economy. These two sisters were as different as can be. The eldest and more beautiful and intelligent of the two, we shall call her Janelle, had long flowing blonde hair she let fall loosely over her shoulders. The younger, less beautiful, less intelligent, more OCD child, we shall call her Nicole, had short brown hair she insisted on wearing in a ponytail.

The problem was that OCD Nicole could not have any "bumps" in her hair. Her hair had to be smoothed perfectly back with nary a hair out of place. The mother, a wise and patient woman, tried several solutions, such as hair gel and Aqua Net. One day, the mother introduced a novel concept called "barrettes". The mother would simply place a barrette over the bump, which in turn created another bump behind it. As long as her entire head was covered in barrettes, Nicole was completely satisfied with her bumpless hair.

The barrettes had an advantage; they created a built-in helmet for Nicole, so she was safe on the playground from rogue basketballs and jump ropes. She bobbed along in relative tranquility for a few weeks, until The Day to End the Peace occurred.

Janelle and Nicole were involved in a bitter argument before school one day. Janelle had eaten the last PopTart. Nicole had called dibs on this PopTart the night before. Chaos ensued. The girls hurled insults at each other until finally, Janelle let out the be-all end-all of insults.

Janelle cried, "Everybody at school calls you Clip Girl!"

Nicole's face crumpled in despair. The mother looked at Janelle with a sad, disappointed look; her peace had been forever disrupted.

Now you know. My mom to this day has never forgiven me for that. So in the last three years or so, I have begun to call her Clip Girl again for nostalgic purposes.