My Life Of Leisure

Most people say they would hate having a life of leisure.  They say, "ugh, I would get so bored, I would need to do something!"

And I think, LEISURE doesn't mean you just sit around and do nothing.  You can if you want, but you don't have to, because you are amazingly, filthily, disgustingly rich.

My life of leisure would never be boring.  I would sleep till 10 and stay up till 3 am.  I would take random classes in things like World War II and dance and Russian literature.  I would write a novel, a few dozen short stories, and absolutely no poetry.  I would make films about whatever I wanted to.  I would travel.  Anywhere and everywhere.  I would backpack across Europe and stay in hostels.  Hell, I would even become a superhero at night, provided I owned Wayne Enterprises and could kick people's ass.  I would read anything and everything.  I would spend entire days in bed and then make up for it by hiking up a mountain the next day.  I would babysit my cousins for free, just because I like to hang out with 6 yr olds.  I would spend months at a time in Northern Michigan swimming, boating, four-wheeling and canoeing.  I would have a bonfire every night, although I would make someone else build it because I don't like fire.

If I felt like I needed a structured activity, I would volunteer at Children's Hospital and do puppet shows for the sick kids.  Or I would let them play with outrageously expensive things like professional video equipment.  Or I would put on a play for them, or let them be in a play for the geriatric patients at Harper Hospital or something.

I would move my parents to Arizona or Hawaii.  I would pay them so they wouldn't have to work, but I wouldn't pay for landscaping or laundry service so they would have something to do.  I would buy my dad a dog and then look after it while they went on all the vacations I would pay for them to go on.

I would meet celebrities and tell them what they do right and what they do wrong.  I would be friends with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and babysit their kids.  I would date John Krasinski because I feel like we would have so much fun.  I would introduce all my friends to famous people so they could all date and we could have huge celebrity parties alllll the time.

And I would watch movies like it was my job.